I'd never really considered self harming. When my daughter started hurting herself, it seemed like this was unfamiliar territory. But is it?
Emily has hit herself with books, her ruler or her hairbrush. She's bitten her own arm and she is constantly fighting the strong desire to actually cut herself.
But really is she any different to me?? I must also admit, that when I think it through, I am also self harming.
I drink, not until I can't see, but definately above the recommended amount and until recently, this was pretty much every day.
I withdraw from groups of people. Until the end of last year I was running my own little business as an Artist. Suddenly I just stopped. I decided I was crap and the whole thing was a waste of time. I withdraw from all artist circles, I removed all but the closest arty friends from facebook, I admitted defeat. I wanted to hurt myself, I wanted to feel the misery and wallow in it.
I binge eat, despite knowing that the more I do it, the bigger I get and the more I will hate myself.
There are so many ways to self harm, but the reasons we do it will always stay the same. We are looking for something that takes the pain away, even if that means simply replacing one with another.
- Mum of 2, suffering my own mental health issues, I began to write this blog as a way to release feelings and emotions. At 13 my daughter was terribly bullied which has led to her having serious mental health problems of her own. She is now 16. I wanted to document our journey and hopefully be able to look back and see how far we have come.