About Me

Mum of 2, suffering my own mental health issues, I began to write this blog as a way to release feelings and emotions. At 13 my daughter was terribly bullied which has led to her having serious mental health problems of her own. She is now 16. I wanted to document our journey and hopefully be able to look back and see how far we have come.

Friday, 22 May 2015

Time moves on

Wow I'm looking at the date I last blogged.  I do feel like I neglected a child, not to mention those kind people who commented on our journey.  I'm sorry.

I've been thinking about this blog a lot recently and wondering if I would ever share it with Emily.  She is doing so well and I am incredibly proud of all her achievments.  Eventually as the months passed she found enough confidence for a few school friendships and things definitely improved after that.  Some people had ridiculed her for her honesty about the problems she faced and continues to face.  Finally she found friends who recognised that she should be admired for her determination and caring, honest nature.

There was a time when I didn't recognise the child in front of me.  She was not my Emily, her illness tore away the confidence, the truthfulness and the strong bond we had once had.  It could easily have taken her life.

Imagine how I feel now.  I am the mother of a daughter who has made me prouder than I ever thought possible.  She will alway have her illness but, with medication, therapy, support and her own will to succeed, she has pulled herself up, fought through all the crap and emerged at the other end.

Currently undertaking the GSCE's I thought may never be taken, she is focused on what she needs to do and where she wants to be.  Emily has worked constantly to catch up on the studies she missed through the years in the wilderness.  I've never needed to coax her, she has been driven and she has been high acheiving.

Neither Emily or myself are cured.  We both still take our meds each day, we cry on each other on bad days or weeks.  There are days I wish I wasn't here.  Emily even now still sees people that others do not.  This has recently been diagnosed as part of her anxiety disorder.  She is keenly working through CBT to find ways to work through such situations.

The reason I started this blog was so we could see our journey and so could others who might be facing similar circumstances could look in too.

Our journey will continue, but I hope the bumpiest part of the road is in the past.  If you are reading this, thinking things will never change, they can.  Remember to get help if you need it.  To travel this road you need others to steady you when you fall.  You need the tools to make each day a tiny bit better.  You need love and kind words and friendship.  Most of all you need to know you are worth it but you need to fight.

To Emily, if you ever do read this.  I love you.  I am so proud of you there really are no words to express it properly.  If my posts were ever negative or self obsessed I am sorry, this was my outlet.

I am thankful every day I look at you Emily, that you are my daughter and that we are closer now than ever before.  You will take the lessons learned at a too young age and you will use them well, supporting not only yourself, but those around you.

Emily, my daughter, my best friend.