We did talk that evening. I was able to set aside all the childish parts of me that wanted to stamp their feet. I talked to Emily about how our relationship had changed and that I was sorry if I didn't always understand or do the right thing. We cleared the air and it was worth it. That would be my one piece of advice to anyone with teenagers, talk to them and make sure you listen. You don't always have to have the answers.
Since that weekend there has been a noticeable change in Emily. She had side effects with Fluoxetine (prozac) and is now taking something different. I'm not sure if its the new medication or the work the unit do with her, or in fact a combination, but there has been an improvement.
After weeks of having cut off her father, she called him and arranged to go to a community bonfire. I had mixed emotions. Part of me was pleased that she had the confidence to venture out. The other part of me was resentful. Why did she not agree to go out with me? How come he was forgiven all of a sudden. Once again, I set my feelings aside.
On the Sunday we managed a family outing to a local park and small animal centre. Not much, but it was nice to be out as a family. My Son is so desperate to do something at weekends that even these small outings placate him.
This last weekend Emily was so animated. Laughing one moment and a stroppy teenager the next. I didn't mind the stroppy teenager. After all that's just normal. When we talked she told me she was no longer interested in hurting herself and she was looking forward to Christmas. We went shopping together and she enjoyed looking for presents for people.
She is unfortunate to suffer from very greasy hair which, as she has got older, has changed from a lovely blonde to a dark mousey colour. I offered to add some highlights. Emily decided on a full head of blonde. The transformation was instant and I don't mean the colour. Her head was held higher and she actually admired herself in the mirror.
The following day she wore make-up, the first time since my wedding day. With the hair and the make-up came a confidence that had lain dormant for too long.
Was it really possible the phoenix was rising?
A diary of ongoing events documenting mental health issues of mother and daughter
How glad I am to read Emily is making some progress, I have been worried after your last two posts and checked for updates regularly.
ReplyDeleteThe only way is forward now that the doors of communication have been thrown open.
Well done you for putting your feelings aside so Emily can see her father, it is part of her healing process although its so difficult for you (((hugs)))
It's great news she isn't interested in harming herself and looking forward to the future at last.
Long may it continue, thinking of you and your family xxxx
Thank you Dawn xxx
DeleteI've read all through your blog, and I still can't imagine what you're going through. You're an amazing woman.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear about the change in Emily, it's remarkable how a change in hair colour can boost a teenager! Wishing you all the best from here on.
Thank you for reading and your kind comments
DeleteThis is so encouraging and I'm glad you are feeling tentatively positive. Well done for putting aside your own feelings and frustrations to talk to Emily, it clearly did some good. Sorry I haven't commented much recently, you are all still in my thoughts and prayers as you continue the journey. Much love xxxx
ReplyDeleteThat's ok, thank you Lauren xxx
ReplyDelete